再见 - a poem about grief

i stopped wearing a watch,
cause i don't like the reminder that time passes.

fear spreads faster than the virus itself.
hospitals - a hotspot of healing -
now a congested convergence of contamination -
you didn't even have the virus.

i live in a constant state of distraction -
candy crush with all my free time during finals week.

without warning -
emotions plummet faster than stocks.
it makes no sense to me.
it's not fair.

even if i could make it back to Shanghai,
they cap group gatherings at ten people.
being abroad so long, do i deserve to make the cut?

if you were still here,
you never let anyone feel excluded.
we just all want to see you one last time.
we are all so grateful for you.
and i miss you.

i gaze at each sunset with a heightened sense of longing.
i don't need a watch to know how precious time is.